luke warm.....but with good intentions

lately i feel like my walk with the lord has been luke warm.   maybe it is partially due to a break in bible study over the summer, or just a busy schedule, but i feel somewhat disconnected.  i have so many good intentions……i’ve bought numerous books, from raising godly children to books on how to study the bible effectively.  three years ago i bought a book on how to encourage your daughter through middle school – i’m on chapter 3 and my daughter is in 8^th grade!  i’ve made schedule after schedule penciling in my quiet time in the morning and when that didn’t work scheduling it for nights after the kids go to bed.  why is this so hard to commit to a time to spend with the lord?  if i made a commitment to meet with one of my friends, i wouldn’t continually cancel.  but when i take the initiative to create the schedule, layout my bible or whatever other book i want to read during my quiet time, set my alarm for early, there’s always something that comes up….i don’t sleep well the night before so i need to sleep in a little to catch up; something comes up with the kids that throws our schedule off; i’m tired after work and just want to relax with jake.  there’s ALWAYS something, and honestly i justify the excuses and say to myself “tomorrow i’ll catch up.  the lord understands that my heart desires to this, he’ll forgive me”.   

the other day i came across one of my many new years resolution lists from a couple of years ago.  so many of the items on my list are still what i need to work on!  it was a bit of a rude awakening that although i get organized and make my lists of goals, i have a difficult time following through.  life is busy.  life flies by.  i can’t believe that my babies are 13 and 11.  you go go go and then before you realize it months have flown by.

i desire to live intentionally.  maybe some of my goals may not be realistic for the season of our lives right now, however i can still live with purpose and follow-through with what the lord lays on my heart. 

on my heart…

spending enjoyable time with my kids away from homework, chores and errands

spending daily quiet time with the lord

getting involved in our community

there are so many more items on my “list”, books that i need to read, studies that i need to go over with my kids, etc….however i think that this list has been my downfall in years past.  i try to take on too much, become overwhelmed and don’t accomplish what i really need to.    i’m going to try to put aside my “type a” personality and am going to let some things on my to do list slide and focus on what’s really important!

Isaiah 55:10-11 (NLT):
The rain and snow come down from the heavens
and stay on the ground to water the earth.
They cause the grain to grow,
producing seed for the farmer
and bread for the hungry.
It is the same with my Word.
I send it out, and it always produces fruit.
It will accomplish all I want it to,
and it will prosper everywhere I send it.

missing my dad

my dad passed away a little over four years ago.  it’s a strange feeling – some days it seems like he’s been gone far longer, other days the memories of him are so clear that it feels like i was just talking to him yesterday.

i inherited my dad’s singing voice.  unfortunately he didn’t have one – which is what was passed down to me!  when i was little, i remember sitting next to my dad in church and giggling while he loudly sang the worship songs next to me.  he was either singing the completely wrong words, or his tone was far off -  neither of which ever hindered him from singing loudly and tapping his feet to the music.  he would smile down at me when he really messed up a line – but then continued on.  so I guess it’s fitting that my memories of my dad always come rushing to me in church.  listening to my own voice, knowing that i’m not even close to hitting the right notes, instead of being embarrassed it makes me smile and reminds me of my dad.  something which started off so silly, has now become a simple way that i remember him in everyday life.  funny that the things that used to embarrass me about my dad, have now become what i miss most.  from him dancing and whistling around the kitchen in his bathrobe every weekend morning – to him loudly and very enthusiastically greeting my friends whenever they came to our house. 

so many memories of which i am so thankful for!  a good reminder to savor our time with our loved ones – don’t let life’s busyness get in the way :)  

christmas

the browns and christmas……..where do i begin?  the brown family LOVES christmas.  it is by far our favorite time of year.  we get so excited when september rolls around…….not because the kids are in school again, but because we are a few short months away from christmas!!!  i’m one of “those people” who drive their coworkers crazy with christmas music in the beginning of november.  

we have one rule……no christmas music, movies or anything else until november first.  you wouldn’t think that this would be difficult, but there is at least one of us that tries to convince someone else to let the rule slide. 

i came across this picture from last year…..i seriously cannot wait to decorate this year!

so excited to watch this…..

i can’t wait to snuggle with my baby with only the lights from the christmas tree lighting the room while listening to some bing.

i bought this today. 

took a deep inhale (yes i did inhale :) ).

i'm so happy!

christmas is right around the corner!!!